Better In Heels

I must admit things got a bit hectic during my season of training and I wasn’t diligent about updating people on my progress! I guess we all fall short some times..but the good news is I finished the Half Marathon!

In the wee morning of June 5th I woke up grabbed a banana and got dressed in my Justice in Motion Jersey and headed out the door to walk to the start line of the Rock n Roll Half Marathon which was only blocks from my apartment. It was a cold morning but we all knew the sun would come out and it was going to be a hot day.

As I arrived at the start I was overwhelmed by what I saw. Over 40 corals for people to line up in, tons of booths with food, water and even a medical tent with massage therapists!

We checked our bags and started our warm ups as a team then brought it in for one last team cheer. As we all departed and headed to our appropriate corals I was getting nervous about my back.

A week prior I had somehow managed to injure myself and my left glut and lower back had been killing me. Everytime I would run I had stiffness and pain and with all the stretching, pain killers and heat pads I still had no relief. As I walked to my coral I saw the massage station and thought I have to stop. My massage therapist Ian was a life saver! He worked out so many knots in my left glut that he practically had me in tears but I knew that I’d thank him later on.

After my massage I lined up at the start and slowly each group took off. Then they reached coral 29…go time…as we started I kept remembering Coach John’s advice. “Think of the race in three parts. The first part you run slow, if you think you are running slow you are probably running too fast, slow down. The second part run with your personality, have a great time and enjoy the bands. The last part run with your heart. This is the time to push as hard as you can and cross that finish line with a smile.” So I started off slow.. really slow.. in fact I had a tracker on my shoe that sent updates to my family and friends as I crossed certain markers and later found out that my boyfriend was worried after it took me about 11 minutes per mile for the first 4-5 miles. But I was told to run slow so I did!

I had some great memories of the race that will be fun to recall on over the years. The first was at about mile 2 or 3 running through Balboa Park when we came up on some Religious folks. They were screaming into the mega-phon that Jesus died for us and that we were sinners. I was running alone and the guy next to me said, “oh come on.” I looked over smiled and said, “Seriously..” as we continued to run a guy with the mega-phon yelled “Jesus will save you!” and I yelled back, “No and ice bath will!” The surrounding folks laughed and we continued on our journey.

As I was running down the 163 I started to realize that running alone is hard for momentum but kept my spirits up and high-fived bands along the way and took water at every station. Around mile 7 I was listening to a band by Fashion Valley playing Angel of Harlem by U2..I love U2.. as I got closer I looked over and recognized the lead singer, my friend Jason Lewis! I couldn’t believe it, nor could he as most of my friends know I don’t run! I gave him a high-five and kept going.

Then came mile 9 our cheer station for JIM! Familiar faces, high-fives and all the momentum you need to push on! Lovin’ it! I ran into coach Helen shortly after but sent her back to help an injured team mate and kept running on my own. Then suddenly as I turned the corner on Morena to head towards the bridge at mile 10 I saw my dad! I was so excited to have a family member there and he ran beside me for a bit then trailed behind.

At this point I was running faster probably under a 9 minute mile and I was getting excited as I could sense that the finish line was only a couple of miles out.

As I crossed the bridge heading to Sea World I saw Coach John. YES! I thought, knowing that he was near the last couple of miles. He looked at me and said, “How do you feel?” I replied, “Great, let’s push it!” And we did. He pushed me to run faster and faster and then at the last 3/4 mile marker he said, “Keep it up, you’re almost there!” and left me to continue the race on my own. As I got closer to the finish line and could see where it was I pushed harder and harder until I almost couldn’t breathe. I busted my butt getting over that finish line and once I did I thought.

There are many things I have learned along the way in my sales career but this one takes the ticket; know when to ask for help. As a woman I am naturally a collaborative person. I think throughout my first years in sales I wanted help and knew I needed it but wasn’t sure who or how to ask. Part of this dilemma was due to feeling uncomfortable with my superiors. I truly felt that if I asked for help I was showing that I was unqualified for the position. If only I knew then what I know now…don’t you hate cliches? But it is true. Asking for help when you need it is not only the right answer, it is the only answer.

Recently, I have been working on a project to bring a life skills curriculum into high schools. There is a company in LA that I am working with who created an intellectual property that speaks to the importance of building relationships in business. It has become my task, by choice of course, to re-write this IP into a high school curriculum and to also build a three-way business partnership with my Alma mater high school, the company in LA and myself.

From start of this project to present time I have done everything I know how to in the world of sales to bring this partnership to fruition. As soon as I learned about the opportunity I jumped on it. I went straight to my Alma mater and asked if they would be interested and then went to the company and said can I come up to LA and re-write this curriculum. I got yes’ from both parties and though I had no firm financial commitment from either party I decided this was a risk I was willing to take. In life you have to take risks and based on my experience and reading other success stories my theory is if you are passionate enough about the risk to do what it takes and you see the potential of return then go for it. So I went for it and figured I’d pick up the pieces along the way and put together a great deal for all parties.

Over the last month I have continued to pull from my experience to create this partnership. Go to LA and dive into the research and re-write of curriculum: check. Put together a proposal for my Alma mater that includes financials, curriculum overview, plan of implementation, and other pertinent information: check. Follow up: check. Interview students, teachers and staff to gain insights into high school as an organization and as a student body: check. Send out emails with updates on curriculum re-write to my Alma mater and parent advisory board: check. Re-write proposal to provide more options for partnership and tailor my ask to the needs of the client: check. More follow up: check. So if I am doing all of the right things then why don’t I have a financial commitment and a partnership defined on paper?

In business everything takes longer than you expect AND sales people get anxious. So I decided to do what I wouldn’t have done years ago. I made a list of people I knew who could offer insights and solutions and I called each one of them and asked for help. First I called my Dad who was in sales for his entire career. His response was, “You’re doing everything you can, you have to be patient and have faith and keep doing what your doing.” I appreciated his call and at the same time thought, that is parent advice not sales advice!

So I called the director of sales at the company in LA. Only having had one conversation with him at this point I still knew that his track record of success with sales could help me come up with a new strategy or see holes or gaps in the strategy I was currently implementing. The conversation was a great chance for me to re-cap where I was at with the sales cycle. After we went back and forth with questions and answers we came to the conclusion that the only thing missing was a sense of urgency to sign the dotted line. We agreed to circle back in a few days and brainstorm more on how we could create that urgency.

In the meantime I reached out to the next person on my list. A parent from my Alma mater, Tom, who is part of the Dad’s club and has been the head of my parent advisory board for this curriculum since we started discussing bringing it to the school. We scheduled a call and again I went through the status of where I was at with the project. After a few minutes, Tom stopped me and said, “Here is what I think we should do.” The short version of his plan was to create a presentation stating the vision, status and call to action for this curriculum then Tom agreed to host a dinner at his house for all parties involved and after some food and beverage we would show the presentation and then politely ask that no one leave until we got what we want. Talk about a sense of urgency!

Here I am only a few days after I hit a brick wall with this project now having a great solution to bring this deal to a close and start building this partnership.  All because I asked for help. There is something to be said for trusting your instincts and going after business. I knew that my skill set was refined enough to get me this far but I also knew once I hit a brick wall that I needed fresh and more experienced perspectives. Knowing when to ask for help is just as important as asking for help. If I would have asked for this type of help a month ago not having built some credibility with my efforts I may not have received the same gracious offers. You have to prove that you have given it a shot, that you are doing everything you can and that you are really at a road block that requires more resources than you have. You also have to know who to ask for help. I chose to call not only a dad who is involved in the school and who I have built a relationship with over time but I chose a person who builds strategic alliances for a living and is passionate about the mastery of relationships. I knew he would be able to provide the right solution and that he had my back on this deal.

So when you are out there building relationships and making deals don’t underestimate the power of asking for help. Assuming you have done your share of the work your outreach won’t come as a sign of weakness but rather a sign of courage. We all want to have the skills to be successful and we do. The key is realizing that one of those skills is knowing when and who to ask for help. I’ll keep you posted on how the dinner goes though I am confident that it will be a success story I share.

I have been blessed to travel quite a bit in my life. In fact for a long time I was flying multiple times a year and when I was in med device sales it was multiple times a week! Then today I went to check in at the airport and after a long thought I couldn’t remember the last time I’d travelled by plane. It was so foreign to me that it had been long enough that I couldn’t recall my most recent flight. I usually keep to myself on flights unless someone strikes up a conversation and I have met many interesting people on flights; some I remember fondly and others I’d rather forget…

As luck would have it I sat next to a gentleman with autism on my first flight. As soon as I realized he was autistic I immediately thought, well I can ignore him or I can try to have as normal of a social interaction with him as possible and make the most of it. I chose the latter and shook his hand as he introduced himself without telling me his name. He didn’t let go of my hand until someone walked down the aisle and he had to. We were both sitting in aisle seats next to one and other. Then he began to show me his DVD player and the movies he had brought to watch. The conversation was simple and redundant but pleasant. As we prepared for take off I heard him whisper, “Here we go,” and watched as he blessed himself three times with his hand. I smiled and continued to read an article on Libya’s turmoil in the Economist magazine.

Throughout the flight I watched him from my peripheral vision as he examined the seats, the plane and the people. I watched as he broke down everything in his mind and analyzed it for its purpose, or so it seemed that was what he was doing, We were both seated in the emergency row and our trays were located in our arm rests instead of on the seat in front of us.  There were no trays on the back of the chairs, just the latches to hold them up. From a manufacturing stand point it was probably easier to leave the locks for the tray tables but he kept pulling and pushing on it trying to understand why there was a latch with nothing to hold. It intrigued me to understand how is brain functioned. How I have the ability to comprehend why the latch would be there from a secondary level yet his view was very primal and linear; almost as if he was missing a perspective, as if he could only see forward and not peripherally. Of course this made sense from an autistic stand point but I had never thought about what that would be like. I began to wonder how life would be and look if everything was more linear. Naturally, about two minutes into this I had already entered a more dimensional level of thinking and eventually drifted back to my magazines now reading an article in Forbes on the CEO of Northwestern Mutual and reminiscing on my interviews with their company in the past and where my career in sales had led me.

Every so often the autistic gentleman would grab my arm and tell me something random. At one point when I finished my club soda he grabbed my cup and threw it away as the flight attendant walked by then opened my stow away container and gently placed the tray back in its place. It was as if he needed things to be done a certain way and he needed to feel in charge and capable. It was sweet and I continued to settle in to feeling like I was sitting next to any other person, except he was more accommodating than the average passenger.

Near the end of the flight the pilot announced it would be a turbulent landing and that the flight attendants would need to prepare the cabin early. I began to dose off when my he grabbed my arm again and said, “What is this a tale of lies? They said we are landing but I don’t see anything, just sky” I smiled and softly replied, “They had to prepare the plane early and it is really cloudy outside, don’t worry you will see land soon.” He kept looking out of the windows desperately searching for land and turning back with a horribly disappointed look continuing to claim that the attendants must have been lying.

The plane finally landed and we all departed. He disappeared in the crowd with his parents and I walked on to my next terminal. The next flight was delayed and the company next to me in the terminal was far less intriguing. Surprisingly the conversation, though not redundant was just as simple as it was with my autistic friend from across the aisle.

Tonight I am performing in the Vagina Monologues. I am going to say the word VAGINA on stage probably a dozen times, why? Because I have committed myself to being a stand against sexual violence and this is just one way I can contribute to that movement. My choices lately to be a part of the movement to end sexual abuse domestically and globally have been numerous and profound. I recently chose to share my experiences through a campaign with Jeans 4 Justice, a non-profit here in San Diego focused on ending sexual violence. My story has been depicted by two artists on three pairs of jeans and those jeans are on display at boutiques in Encinitas this month to create awareness. Since January I have been training for my first half-marathon in June, which again is raising money for Jeans 4 Justice. Next on the list is to train as a facilitator with Jeans 4 Justice starting at the end of this month. The list of the choices I am making to stand in the center of this movement goes on and on. At times I look at my life from a birds-eye view and think, What are you doing? Are you crazy? Could you possibly just do one thing at a time? And the answer is simply, No, I can’t. I  move through things with intensity and passion; I always have. I don’t take any of these projects lightly but experiencing them all concurrently gives me the ability to truly embody the movement. To feel so connected to why it is important and to remind myself daily that it is an ongoing process, a lifetime of work, awareness and growth.

When you choose to embody something in everything you do, the universe has a way of sending you information, solicited or not. Just today I woke up to two emails. One from someone of my past that hurt me many years ago. I haven’t spoken to this person since that time and was shocked to see communication from them. The day that I am performing in the Vagina Monologues to end sexual violence, this person contacts me.. coincidence? Probably not. The second was an email from my Mom passing along information on a missing teenager in Missouri. I immediately posted her picture on facebook and emailed my network. Like I said as soon as you commit to embodying a movement, the cause moves through you. It becomes who you are. You become a part of it. It is powerful and if you are able, you can use this power for good.

So here I sit, hours away from taking the stage and taking a stand. I am immersed in feeling into this movement today through others experiences, through my own experiences, through the monologues I will embody tonight. I am breathing in these emotions, I am pulling from the vulnerability and the strength of my own life to make this performance one that will change me and the audience forever. There are over 10,000 Vagina Monologues performances taking place globally right now. Think about the impact we are creating with this outreach. All in our own countries, our own tongues, with our own flavors. I breathe that concept in and feel lifted to a place of possibility, of action and of hope. For me it is about this one life, this one chance to love, to embody, to impact, to be what you wish to see in others and in the world. Birch Theater, tonight you will be my home. Vagina Monologues, tonight you will be my vessel. And to the 730 people who will fill the seats and open their hearts to our cast and this movement, tonight and always you are my salvation and my hope for a better world for generations to come.

Part of my business life is building relationships and volunteering time in the non-profit world.

Friday I attended a Women Give San Diego lunch with Judy Patrick the CEO of the Women’s Foundation of California. As background the Women’s Foundation of California has spent 30 years on the ground supporting, training and fueling the fiercest women leaders, fanning the winds of change for women and girls throughout California (www.womensfoundca.org). Women Give San Diego is a unique and powerful donor circle of the Women’s Foundation of California (www.womengivesd.org). The topic of discussion at our lunch was how philanthropic efforts and policy can intersect to create a greater impact for women and children in California. Judy gave us some background on why the Women’s Foundation of California was founded and what we as a donor’s circle could do to create this synergy for greater impact. 31+ years ago when the foundation began less than 1% of philanthropy dollars went to women and children. Today there are at least 140 funds that are focused on women and children.

Judy also addressed the goals of the Foundation. The first goal is to add resources into communities to increase support for women that are on the ground creating change. Second, to create a place where women can learn to be philanthropists. Their overall mission is for everyone in communities to be safe, economically secure and healthy. With this theme and these goals in mind, the question of how to create greater impact with policy advocacy and philanthropy surfaced again. Judy then shared the ways these two categories are already intersecting and areas we can continue to enhance. Through their Women’s Policy Institute, the foundation trains leaders to be agents of change for policies that impact the lives of women of all ages, their families and their communities. They have advocated for legislation for safer cosmetics, increased measures addressing violence in the workplace and an expansion of protections for noncitizen victims of trafficking, domestic violence and other serious crimes. The foundation calls these efforts “movement building work,” where unlikely parties come together to advocate for the bigger picture. Judy explained to us that we need to take opportunities to meet with our elected officials and speak from our experiences and areas that we care about. It is well known that elected officials are constantly contacted by lobbyists and rarely by constituents. If we are to create change we must start by engaging in conversation with our local officials.

A misconception that Judy clarified was whether non-profits could advocate on policy. Non-profit organizations can engage in advocacy policy as long as there isn’t a bill number associated with it, which would then categorize as lobbying. Other areas that Judy suggested we look at to bring philanthropy and policy together as a Donor’s circle were to define priorities for funding with a policy-advocacy lens, encourage organizations applying for grants to apply for a general operating grant allowing the organization to use funds at their discretion, and to support groups that focus on advocacy. When working with these advocacy organizations she suggested that we help them create a plan with a sequence of outcomes on the road to achieving a larger goal such as the passing of a bill. In doing so we are able to create a system of accountability with our funds as well as one that allows us to celebrate small wins with the grantee along the way.

With California at its current state, Judy couldn’t emphasize enough the importance of evidence-based research to help support advocacy efforts. Date can often be the best tool to support advocates in their efforts. With legislative day coming up in early May, Judy encouraged us to consider traveling to Sacramento and playing a role in advocacy policy. The Women’s Policy Institute will be forming teams for various bills and there is no better way to learn and help then to engage in the process.  As a group we know that women are phenomenal at making connections and building relationships. The task at hand now is to leverage our relationships, knowledge, and philanthropic efforts to advocate for better policy in order to create a safe, economically secure, and healthy environment for communities in California and across the world.

Dating in your 20′s

I find it interesting that out of all the categories I have blogged on I have strayed away from the Better In Love category. The ironic thing is I love everyday and I could easily blog about how I love everyday in some capacity and yet I find myself thinking of love as a relationship, particularly with a man. A relationship I do not have at the moment, a relationship that I long for and hide from all at the same time.

After my recent break up I went through strange emotions that took me some time to understand and articulate. When I finally processed these emotions inside of my head and then out through words I came to the conclusion that what upset me most about the end of the relationship was the utter disappointment in the lack of fulfillment. I am 27 and I know I want to be married some day with a family, but right now all I wanted was a relationship that didn’t take a lot of work. I wanted a relationship that was happy, fun, adventurous, passionate, loving, and pressure free. I wanted to laugh, to dance, to enjoy the company of the person alone and also to enjoy their company out in groups. I wanted to be and feel fulfilled. And I wasn’t.

After all of my transformative experiences and the intense self-development workshops that I have endured to better myself the first thing I thought was, am I fulfilling myself? So I did what most women do, I thought about it and overanalyzed the situation. I made a list in my journal of all of the things I wanted to create in my life, of all the emotions I wanted to feel and the experiences I wanted to have. I reflected back on this list and realized that I had all of those things with or without a man. Great news, right? Well, not exactly. That just meant my answer was wrong guy… another failed relationship. Ugh. Exhaustion was the only word that I could think of.

Why is it that dating has to be so complicated? Why can’t casual dating be the way it use to be? My mom talks about dating in her 20’s and let me tell you her experiences sounded way more exciting than mine. I hear stories about how a guy would come to meet her out for a date and she would be sitting at the bar with scotches lined up on the bar with other guys waiting to talk to her. Where are these guys? Now you go to a bar and you have to pay for your own drink, stand around in crowds looking at people wondering if the scene is really one where anyone achieves anything besides a few smiles, a tab and a cab. Ok so now I sound cynical but really it isn’t far off from the truth. And I also know that when you find the right person to be with it can be amazing and life altering. I am definitely not one of those bitter women that won’t be happy with a man one day. But what to do until then?

I had a conversation about this very subject last night with a friend. How do you fulfill your needs of wanting companionship without adding complication to the mix? Is it really possible? Can you have a friend that you spend time with of the opposite sex without getting attached? Perhaps if you keep intimacy out of the picture? But the bottom line is men always want intimacy and women always get attached. They are our natural instincts. Men biologically need to reproduce and women naturally need a protector. So here I am 27, happy and fulfilled in all areas of my life but “love” not necessarily sitting around waiting for the one to magically show up but also not wanting to be alone. I have a desire to be close to someone and a desire to keep things easy and light. Oh wow, I really do sound like a woman right now wanting everything and sounding needy and complicated. Oh boy… well I guess for now I will just trust that my “love” life is meant to be about me loving everything I am creating and embracing relationships for what they are and letting the rest fall into place. In the meantime I still think dating in my 20’s hasn’t been as fulfilling as I had hoped and I am feeling that it is time to shift that paradigm to one that is filled with the most amazing fulfillment I could possibly imagine. Are you with me?

Day 5- AMANDA COLLINS- SONG OF YOGA

Amanda Collins is a Yoga teacher, singer/songwriter, spiritual guide and Feng Shui consultant devoted to uplifting others through music and the ancient wisdom traditions. She is at the forefront of an emerging movement marrying Yoga with live music making.

Amanda lights up a room when she enters, her soft glow radiates across the room and touches everyone. Just when you think she couldn’t be any more angelic she says something to you and her gentle and soothing voice with her sweet Irish accent make you feel like you have just been kissed by an angel. The way she has incorporated live music into her yoga classes is beautiful and enhances your experience.

For more information on Amanda visit her website: www.songofyoga.com

VANESSA MITCHELL- Jewelry Designer- VANESSA NICOLE JEWELS- I have known Vanessa since pre-school and she has been amazing me since our first days in tap dance and show stoppers together. Her talent is organic and impressionable. Her personality is even better. She is THE most genuine person I know and I will definitely be guiding the man of my dreams (when he shows up) to her for a ring

If you’re looking for a stunning diamond ring, visit my favorite jeweler, Vanessa, at Vanessa Nicole Jewels in the Gaslamp.

One of her recent clients says: “We will continue to visit Vanessa for years to come and I can, without hesitation, recommend her to anyone who is looking to give something as unique and personal as a custom engagement ring.

Call her today to book a complimentary consultation: (619) 800-0134

www.VanessaNicoleJewels.com

Consistently, I am asked how I can help people network or get connected. So this week I started to think about how to maximize networking using social media. I came up with this idea and it has continued to expand every since its inception. The idea was what if I highlight 30 businesses, one a day, on facebook to let people in my network know what small businesses are out there and offer a referral of sorts. Then after some emails back and forth with my friend Tyler Jensen, we decided that it should be posted on everyone’s page not just mine. So I sent out an email and within 24 hours we had 30, well actually 32 people because I chose to do it from March 15-April 15th, so much for counting that one out…oops..:) Anyway, 32 people responded, and then some who I have wait listed for the opportunity. The idea: market small businesses. The plan: get a blurb from each business plus a link to their website. Create a personal post on my page everyday, also linking it to my twitter, linked in and blog. Then create a note about the business and tag each person in the 30 business group. So let’s just say that each person who has joined this event, 30 (really 32) have 500 friends each. As we post this note on everyone’s page that means every business will have exposure to 15,000 people for a day. Talk about maximizing networking right?

I wanted to blog about this immediately but as you can imagine with everything else packed in my day it has been crazy! So here are the first three days so far and I will continue to blog on the rest as they come. I will let you know how the experience has been for everyone, the referral rate and feedback in general. I am so excited to share this idea and experience with you. In fact, it has been so popular already that not only do I have people wait listed for another one but I have people replicating the idea for their own use to promote other events. This idea is brilliant but is even more amazing because of the collaborative effort from everyone involved. It is creating business, success and fun for all involved!

Day 1:

One of Stephanie Thomas‘s favorite things about being a hair stylist is the expression on her client’s face when they have a new hair cut or are just leaving the salon after getting a new style. The positive energy they provide keeps her going throughout the day and keeps her smiling. She is a joy to be around all while getting your hair pampered!

Ashen Boutique and Salon – Home

ashenboutiqueandsalon.com

Day 2:

Day 2 of Promoting 30 Businesses: Mad Hot Studios, Are you in the mood to salsa? swing or even some sexier dance styles? My favorite dance instructor has created an incredible business that is also creating change in the world. Check Isabella Konold out at Mad Hot Studios!

Day 3:

Day 3 of Promoting Small Businesses: Shauna Piscitello – Living in Balance with Feng Shui and Yoga. I have taken Kundalini Yoga with Shauna and experienced her magnetic energy. She is a blessing to be in contact with and you leave feeling detoxified and refreshed! Today visit her website and see how she can help bring balance into your life.

www.livinginbalancewithshauna.com